Last week I filled the last pages of the first notebook I write down the notes I take during counseling session. By now, Karin and I are both swamped with work. We have around 20 cases each, which feels like 10 too much for both of us. We struggle to keep up and try our best to do each one of our girls justice.
Some of them come to us for career or for relationship advice, those are the ones we can relax a little. From my 20 girls only 3 live with both of there parents. Many of them don't know or have no contact to their birthfathers, not to mention them paying anything for them. All of them live in rough environments. Some come from townships, others live in other poor areas. Once one of my girls stood me up, because she didn't have money for the transport to come to school at all. So far I dealt with bullying, depression, sleeping and eating disorders. At the moment I have a few cases with serious abuse. And yes, there are people here that react to me telling them the girls are getting beaten up at home with "this is Africa, we beat our children". I'm still fighting for them. Beating a child is a crime in South Africa as well as in Germany. I also have sexual abuse to deal with and with all kinds of abuse comes suicide notions. Nearly all of them think about or used to think about committing suicide in one or the other way. The province of the Western Cape here has the highest rate of teenage suicides in South Africa, my supervisor told me. It's hard to be a teenager here, some don't make it to adulthood.
There are 5 cases in which I as a counselor have to report the child to the principal: drugs, pregnancy, abuse, suicide/homicide and TB/HIV-infections. In all of the cases it is hard to get the learner to understand that I do not want to "sell him out", but that I am taking measures to protect her. In the case of abuse, the principal has to or at least has to consider reporting the parents to the police and social services. Here in Cape Town they have an organization called "Safe Schools". Following protocol they should be informed about any kind of abuse and find a save place for the child. In reality they are helplessly overwhelmed with reports, so in many cases nothing happens. So we go back working with the child on how they could prevent abuse: are there signs, before it happens? Does it happen on special days or a special time in the day? Can you not be there, when it is most likely to happen?
It reminds me a little of Sisyphus' work. And yes it is frustration from time to time. Like our supervisor said in the beginning: we have to keep in mind that we won't be able to help most of these children.
But besides the cases with nearly no hope, I did have cases where the children mainly wanted to learn how to talk to their mothers, for example. Together we figured out, what to say, when to say it and practiced it a little - next session they came back beaming that they actually talked. Some times it is just about learning how to start talking at all. Some of them give the somewhat surprised feedback, after the first session that that was really helpful. All of them seem to appreciate me and Karin being there.
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| the notebook |
It reminds me a little of Sisyphus' work. And yes it is frustration from time to time. Like our supervisor said in the beginning: we have to keep in mind that we won't be able to help most of these children.
But besides the cases with nearly no hope, I did have cases where the children mainly wanted to learn how to talk to their mothers, for example. Together we figured out, what to say, when to say it and practiced it a little - next session they came back beaming that they actually talked. Some times it is just about learning how to start talking at all. Some of them give the somewhat surprised feedback, after the first session that that was really helpful. All of them seem to appreciate me and Karin being there.
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